1. Your ability to scream louder than the person you’re arguing with does not automatically make you correct.
2. When you do a good deed, remember to get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
3. The speed of time is one second per second.
4. An exception to the speed of time: How long a minute lasts is in direct relation to which side of the bathroom door you’re on.
4. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
5. Granola has the power to solve any problem.
6. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
7. Red meat is not bad for you. Green, fuzzy meat is bad for you.
8. Realize and accept that no matter what you do, the grocery store check-out line you’re in will always take the longest.
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10. A slice of bread will always land buttered-side down. If, by chance, you should happen to butter both sides, it will float forever.
11. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
12. If you do something silly, laugh at yourself, so when people start laughing, they're laughing with you, not at you.














Comments
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Love it (:
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if in doubt, love.
'let your freckles be periods, and my scars, the alphabet. our skin together is the most beautiful thing i have ever read.'
Right on!
Fabulous post!
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ALERT ALERT! Bellatrix Obsession Currently Active
Countdown to Half-Blood Prince!!!
In the Shadows of Endless Nighttime (new Fic)!! -> [link]
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Don't criticize some one until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So when you do criticize you are a mile away and you have their shoes. ^^
[link] Make my day and comment on something please pretty please
Eh, don't do anything too strenuous. I don't want you to hurt yourself.
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My inner child is a mean little fucker.
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I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.
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If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mom.
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My inner child is a mean little fucker.
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I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.
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If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mom.
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My inner child is a mean little fucker.
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I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.
--
If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mom.
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My inner child is a mean little fucker.
--
I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.
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If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mom.
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if in doubt, love.
'let your freckles be periods, and my scars, the alphabet. our skin together is the most beautiful thing i have ever read.'
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